Friday, 26 February 2010

我要快乐

他们说我目前不适合做任何决定。因为我暂时还不理智。事情刚发生。应该给自己多一点时间。叫我千万别冲动。

我接受了他们的劝告

然而

每一天早上醒来,我的脑力就会出现不同的想法

有的是一如既往的理智,有的是出乎我预料的想法,有的更是用言语都解释不清的。哈。。哈。。为什么我选择让时间告诉我答案的时候,结果还是得不到答案?

原谅我太心急。快乐并痛苦着,其实真的很痛苦。虽然我还是面带笑容,好像很快乐很幸福,但又有谁看到我背后的眼泪?

幸福太久了以后,上帝嫉妒了

我不是天生爱寂寞,却比任何人都多

我要快乐

干净利落完完全全彻彻底底地快乐

不想再哭了

不想再这样伪装坚强了

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

刺猥

最后一抹的微笑 在转身之后
我闭上眼 哭了
仅存的一点点骄傲
华丽的外表终於丢掉
很旁徨很孤单 是寂寞或悲惨
一个人 该怎么办

像是刺猬般防范 伪装得勇敢
不轻易让你 看穿
我以为可以很坦然
面对分开时不觉得伤感
然而将灯关上 一片无声黑暗
心痛得大声呼喊

我想我没那么坚强
每个女孩其实一样
渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱
却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强
不过是一而再的逞强
小心将情绪收藏 比傻瓜还傻
刺猬的坚强 全都是假象.. 哭吧

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Listen

There's a girl in my mirror,
I wonder who she is.
Sometimes I think I know her,
Sometimes I really wish I did.
She's crying tonight,
But there's nothing I can do to make her feel alright.
She said she should have died.
She's in pain.
Standing alone at the crossroad,
she's not at home in her own home.
The path that she's walking, she must walk alone.
She must take the baby steps till she's full grown, full grown.
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And she foreseen the dark ahead if she stay.
She can almost see it, the dreams that she's dreamin but,
there's a voice inside her head says "you'll never reach it"
Every steps she's making,
Every move she's making,
lost in no direction,
her faith is shaking.
She's just a little girl lost in the moment,
she's so scared but she doesn't show it,
She can't figure it out and it's bringing her down.
She doesn't know where to go, and can't do it alone.
and she doesn't know why.
She'll never be allowed to love in this curse cage,
it's only the fairy tales she believed.

新年快乐。


已经好久没有回来这里了。这个地方仿佛不再是我的家,又或者说,我不想回家。


这个新年很快乐。也很难过。两者并存,搞得我神经错乱。


每一天,每一分,每一秒,我的脑力都在思考。回忆。责问自己。安慰自己。我想我掌上的纹已经到了四通八达的境界。我感觉自己想疯了,却依然装做正常生活。


我暂时看不见,只能靠感觉。但我的感觉是否正确?


我不适合做任何的决定。我知道。我的心最近一点也不平静,脑里也一片混乱,也许是这样我根本听不见自己的心里到底想告诉自己什么


这一次,没有人可以帮助我,我知道。


心一直在滴血,虽然我有人陪伴,脑里不得空胡思乱想,当一旦停止活动,这种生不如死的感觉又再次出现。


我想解脱。


我想哭。